Father’s Day Message 2010

Today is Father’s Day and so I want to give a message from God’s Word that is in defence of children and family but also of women, wives and mothers; but in particular of what it means to be truly a man, indeed a king among men.

So today we turn to the opening section of this final chapter of Proverbs, a chapter more familiar to Christians for what it teaches about a “virtuous wife” (v.10), the woman of every true man’s dreams, but one who is “hard to find” but when you do you “find a good thing”.

But have you noticed how before the ‘Excellent Wife’ is described that there is the picture of the ‘Exemplary Husband’?

Many a man longs for more of this chapter to be seen in his wife, or in courtship to find women like this. But notice the place to start is with you, with yourself!

It raises the question: Are you worthy of such a woman? It highlights the condition: It is with such a man that she desires and designs to be such a woman.

What is the sort of man in whose company such a woman blossoms, and indeed children and family life do too (for that is also an emphasis of the last section of the book of proverbs)?

In Proverbs 31:1-9 we listen to the wisdom of his godly mother which King Lemuel recounts with obvious approval and encouragement. We do not know who he was, but we are thankful for his mother, and in particular for the godly advice she gave to prepare him for being a king, husband and father.

As we listen to this wisdom we will see it all relates to a man’s character, that he exercises self-control, is soberminded, supportive, and demonstrates humble servanthood.

Here are key character traits which men need to cultivate within themselves and in their understanding of what it means to be and live as a man. This is the man a woman needs as a husband who will cultivate godly womanhood in her; that children need to be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. The implication being that if you are not so before the world then you won’t be before wife and children.

Men, it begins with you, the dynamic of a loving marriage and family starts within you and with you – by the grace of God.

God’s recipe for a godly father/husband

(from the Book of Proverbs)

1. He is kind and compassionate (12:10).
2. He is honest (29:24).
3. He is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27).
4. He is truthful (12:17, 19).
5. He exercises self-control (12:15; 16:32).
6. He has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2, 4).
7. He is generous (14:21; 28:27).
8. He is willing to be corrected and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12, 31-32; 28:13; 29:1).
9. He is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7).
10. He is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19; 31:3).
11. He is forgiving (19:11).
12. He is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13).
13. He is humble (15:25,33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23).
14. He is not contentious, but a peacemaker (17:1; 18:1, 19).
15. He has control of his temper (14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 29:11).
16. He is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9).
17. He has a concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7).
18. He can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20).
19. He fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30).
20. He is not a jealous man (27:4).
21. He has a positive outlook on life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14).

Notice this is not about outward appearance or even personality, but of character. As parents we need to exhibit and model godly character, teaching our children to seek godly character, for themselves, and in those with whom they would associate.