Evening Service, 15 March 2009
Do you have a Will? Why have you done so? Isn’t it true that when a person writes their ‘Last Will and Testament’ it is primarily because they want to take care of their surviving family, friends and organisations like churches or charities with their money and other assets. And because they want to make sure there is no doubt as to their intent, and no obstacles in the way of realizing that intent, they take careful thought to the words lest they can be misconstrued or in some other way overturned. A will is a statement of loving interest and commitment that endures from beyond the grave.
Is that what we see Jesus doing here, giving a living, real-time, will?
Certainly we see Jesus even in the midst of His agony on the cross finding breathe and strength to take care of His mother after His death through His close disciple John. It is a scene that appeals to every instinct within men and women alike. Here we see a word of affection. Here we see the fifth commandment honoured even at the fast approach of death. This is right and proper, and in this Jesus serves as a perfect example of behaviour, and a reminder that even impending death does not release one from such responsibility of loving care to others, especially parents and family.
Yet it is clear that more is intended here, much more. There is spiritual care as well as physical care being exercised by Jesus.
What makes me say that? Because there are two elements here that stands out to those who are more than casual or emotional readers. Two things which show Jesus was doing much more than giving His last will for the benefit of His mother Mary, both of which relate to having a real relationship with Jesus.
The first thing that strikes us is the use of the word “Woman”.
1. A Right Relationship
If ever a son is going to call his mother ‘Mother’ it is while suffering (we do so from very early years), and there is no reason to doubt that this is true in extreme suffering leading to death.
Yet Jesus calls Mary “Woman”. The fact that Jesus addresses His mother this way does not indicate disrespect for such a thought is inconsistent with the physical provisions He makes for her. Rather it indicates that there is more here than an expression of a Son’s love for His mother.
By calling her “Woman” Jesus confronted her maternal instincts, indicating that as natural as that is there is something more important she needs to express. He is calling her to relate to Him not as a mother to her Son, even in the light of His intense agony; she needs to relate to Him as a woman, even as other women are called to. He is saying to her that He is not closer to her than to any other believer (cf Matt 12:48-50; Lk 11:28).
It is the same address we see at the beginning of Jesus ministry, which is also recorded only in this Gospel by the one who took on Mary’s care.
In John 2, at the Wedding in Cana when the wine ran out, Jesus responds to Mary’s direction for Him to do something about it by saying “Woman, what have I to do with you?” She backs off, saying to the servants “Do what He tells you” – that is, He is not under my authority. Rather both I and you are under His. What was Jesus point to her? That the human ties need to give way to the spiritual ones. That instead of seeing herself as His mother, she needed to see and submit to Him as her Lord.
At the beginning of His public ministry Jesus was disengaging the human ties between Himself and this blessed woman, and here at the end of His public ministry, at the cross, He severed them forever as He tells her to look to John, not to Him as her son. How is she to look at Him, at Jesus? He must be to her Saviour and God.
Jesus is stressing to Mary that she must get and keep the relationship right. Yes she is highly favoured among women, but she is still a woman needing to trust in Jesus unto salvation, focussing on Him not as her Son, but as her Saviour and God.
‘You are still just a woman who like all other women need a Saviour, but unlike many you have found Me through faith: now rejoice in and give emphasis to this relationship between us. Don’t come to Me as your Son (do that to John), but come to Me as your Saviour who died on the cross for your sin. When you need help don’t come as a mother legitimately looking to her son for assistance (look for that in John), come to Me as your Lord as other women do seeking help from the throne of grace.’
The vital aspect of her relationship with Jesus is not genetic but spiritual.
And the same is true of us, whatever other connection we may have to the Lord Jesus Christ, even if it be as simple as being brought up in a Christian home or an on-going church connection, the relationship you need is a spiritual relationship through repentance of sin and faith in Christ, one that recognises Him as your Saviour from sin and judgement, one that looks to Him as your Lord in life.
Is this how you relate to the Lord Jesus Christ? Don’t buy the sentimentality of our age in coming to Jesus primarily as your Friend , your relationship must be more than that, and if you are a Christian it is more than that. Live in the light of a right relationship with Jesus.
Further, we can get so caught up in other aspects of our relationship with Jesus that we lose sight of the prime one or may even displace it. We may be so caught up in church life and kingdom work that we don’t give attention to our spiritual relationship with Jesus. This was the warning that Jesus gave to Martha highlighting that her sister had chosen “the one thing needed” (Jn 10:41-42). Do you need your relationship with Jesus redirected? Are you in danger of turning the things of the kingdom into an alternative to the kingdom’s King? Have we become so conversant with true doctrine that we no longer talk with the King? Are we too eagerly welcoming people into church life thinking they are Christians because they have got the words right instead of looking for evidence of the new birth and a heart-faith in Jesus? These are questions we do well to ask ourselves that we might not shift off from the centre, and if we have that we might find ourselves brought back to it and restored.
2. A Restored Relationship
The second ‘striking’ element here is the reference to the disciple John. Why is this a surprise? Because we read in Matt 26:56 that all the disciples had fled in panic when Jesus was taken prisoner.
Certainly John, according to John 18:15 where he is described semi-anonymously, was with Peter in the courtyard of the High Priest’s house where later Peter denied the Lord, and that indicates a resurgence on John’s part of his commitment to the Lord. He came back!
And from this passage we see that John continued to stay as close to Jesus as he could, even here at the cross with the three Marys. Why the veiled allusions to his identity here and in 18:15? Clearly because John was not proud of his having deserted Christ. He used therefore a method where he alludes to the fact of the Lord’s love for him without directly drawing attention to himself – “the disciple whom He loved”.
Having spoken to Mary Jesus then turns to John and directs him to her care saying, “Behold your mother!’ Here John is clearly encouraged to see from both Jesus’ speaking directly to him and the task given to him that his Lord still loves him. Indeed the very nature of this task indicates that Jesus knows that John loves Him and can be trusted with it, and also that Jesus sees no reason not to give the care of Mary to him.
Surely we are being told by Jesus and led to see by John that Jesus is assuring John that the right relationship has been restored to him despite his earlier sins of fear and denial. He heard not a word of rebuke or what surely would have been worse to John, a word of disappointment in him. Jesus didn’t accuse him before His enemies nor does He distance Himself from him, but gave a public word of inclusion and trust.
Surely this brings comfort to every believer who has doubted, succumbed to fear, or in some other way disrupted their relationship with their Lord. Here we see that upon returning to the Lord we will find that His love is not diminished but that with His forgiveness comes a full restoration of that relationship which He established with us by grace in the first place.
What an encouragement this is to us when we find ourselves caught up in sin and would return to the Saviour’s side in repentance. Have you wandered from the Saviour’s side, do you no longer enjoy sweet communion with Him, have you become a backslider? Perhaps in the hour of trial you denied Him, in a time of testing you failed Him, giving more thought to your own interests than His. May the arrow of conviction enter your heart! But may also the balm of comfort be applied to you as here to John and later to Peter. May the power of God draw you back to Christ where alone you can and will find restoration, comfort and peace. Here is encouragement for you! See the Saviour suffering under your sin responding in wondrous grace – how much more so now will He in His resurrection victory and glory! Cease your wanderings and return at once to Christ. Who knows what honourable task He has for you.
3. A Revealed Relationship
Though there is as we have seen much more happening here than a dying son’s concern for the future welfare of his mother and a transference of that responsibility to a trusted friend, yet we ought not to diminish this reality for it appears in the context of a right relationship with Jesus.
Indeed this is emphasised to us by the response of John and Mary, for we read “And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.”
This is not a declaration that John was to look to her as ‘Queen of the saints’ or the ‘Mother of the Church’, or that all disciples were to call her ‘Mother’ as in the film ‘The Passion of the Christ’. No these words indicate that John took care of her. And that Jesus spoke to her first and then to John indicates that she is to look to John for support, not John or any other to her.
Indeed apart from only one further reference in Acts 1:14 where Mary is seen with her other sons as just one of the body of believers praying in the upper room and given no more prominence than that, this is the last reference to Mary in the NT. And this reference highlights John’s relationship with her because of their joint relationship to Christ by faith.
It is by going into John’s care that Mary revealed her relationship with Christ as her Lord and Saviour. Her going into John’s care was a display of submission to Jesus, to His will.
And this is how John responded to his restoration of this right relationship with Jesus, by taking her into his home, that is taking personal responsibility for her maintenance and care just as a son would do for his mother. Again it was an act of submission to Jesus, as well as an act of love for Jesus.
From this we can see that a right relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ is always seen in our lives, in the way we relate to others. In other words the heart-beat of practical godliness is our relationship with Jesus. As Matthew Henry reminds us, ‘Those that truly love Christ, and are beloved of Him, will be glad of an opportunity to do any service to Him or His.’
What better way to show the fact of a right relationship with Christ than to mirror that love to His people. This is the point John makes later in 1 John 3:10; 4:11,14 The way we relate to Jesus affects the way we relate to others, especially to other believers. When the relationship with God is real it will flow into our relationship with other believers and be revealed most clearly there.
Have you heard this saying from the cross? Have you entered into that essential relationship based on faith in Jesus as Saviour and God, do you hear Him assuring you of His continuing love for you, and do you show that in your relationship with His people, the church? May God give us grace to that end!